Spewing, Smoldering and A Month of Gratitude

Day Two of  a Month of Gratitude
If you have been tracking with me for any time, you know I am waiting for resolution to a long-standing issue. LONG-standing.
There was reason to hope the resolution would come this week. Every day waking up with hope. Every day disappointed.
The delay this morning hit me hard because now we must wait until Monday. I was intentioanlly wallowing in my frustration, verbalizing, acting out…
And I heard the whisper in my ear…GRATITUDE?
UGH
Deep breath.
Refocus.
So, on Day 2, I am thankful for the acquired ability to control myself!
Acquired ability. My natural wiring likes to wallow and/or act out. That circuitry has been reinforced by people close to me. “I can’t help it – that’s just how I am” was something I wore proudly.
How about you? Is your natural inclination to spew, stomp, show your frustration loud and clear?
Or maybe you are inclined, instead, to stew? You appear to handle things well, even tell others they should not get so upset. But inside the anger is smoldering, just waiting to explode.
Acquired ability.
Years of prayer, meditation, steps and missteps, concerted effort.
And here is the hardest part: accepting the responsibility. Understanding that much of our emotional turmoil is self-inflicted.
Initially, I didn’t like that much.
How about you? Are you excited about taking ownership of your emotions? 
You should be. Owning your emotions is one of the most freeing choices you can make.
Freedom from the results of immediate spewing. Freedom from the delayed results of smoldering. Freedom for loved ones. Freedom.
I am not perfect. Self-infliction still occurs – like it did this morning.
BUT I recognize it quickly. I pull myself out.  
My world is drastically better for it.
How about you? How would your world change if you owned your emotions? Dealt with them quickly and honestly?
I would love to hear your thoughts.
November – a month of gratitude. Will you join me?
We will talk again tomorrow…
BP

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  1. WHAT?!!! What is this ownership you speak of!!!???

    My mother used to call it my "list." When something would just beat me up and then out came the "list" of everything that wasn't going my way, that challenged me, that was unfair, unjust or just hard. Spew is a good description.

    Occasionally the list gangs up on me, "Doom, despair and agony on me… deep dark depression, excessive misery… if it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all.." It takes gratitude to kick its butt.

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