Hard questions, laundry, and what I NEED…

Two weeks ago at church, a friend asked if I had been writing – he had not seen any blogs recently. When I told him I hadn’t, he asked if I am sad. Sad about not writing? Yes.
What he meant is am I not writing because I am sad? Again, yes.
This question keeps returning to my mind – how much does writing really mean to me? I say it is vital – but my day is filled with other “stuff.” So maybe I should  change my words…it is nice, I enjoy it, I do it well – but it isn’t vital?
The very notion that it is okay to NOT write literally turns my stomach. And yet, days go by with no words on a page.
 
Have you been there?
Have you had a dream, a gift, a talent you want – no, NEED – to share, but you don’t?
When it is suggested to me that I seem “just fine” even though I rarely write, something jumps up inside and wants to cry out…but it ISN’T fine!!
Oh sure, I can get a lot done in a day. Laundry, cleaning, cooking, gym, groceries, giving time to some folks who have needs. And, certainly, those are important tasks.
But if writing is “vital” to my being, to my soul, why does it take a back seat?
Have you been there? Is there something crying to get out, to be given some time and energy? Is there a place where your heart absolutely sings…and at the end of many days, there is a nagging place  that says, “What about me?”
Your soul’s need might be something far removed from writing. It might be a possible career path, or it might be a hobby. But it is there. And you probably know it.
This is not to suggest that you abandon any obligations, or stop meeting the needs of your family, or stop hanging out with friends.
What I know is that, for whatever reason, I have been choosing to order my days in such a way that writing has taken a back seat. And it isn’t “just fine” at all. That choice has kept my house clean and my laundry done…and my soul longing. It has carried me to a place I do not like.
So today, in the midst of the laundrycleaninggroceries cycle, I stopped…and I wrote this.
It’s a step.
I believe there are many reasons beneath the surface for the choices I have made. Part of THINK BIG focus small, my motivational speaking/writing endeavor, is to take a look at barriers. Not dwell on WHY, only to understand how to move beyond.
So I take this first step, and know that there are many more…and part of the way to go forward is to clear the path.
How about you? Are there roadblocks you feel but can’t fully identify?
I invite you to think about that, and check back in. This is not a one-blog topic! I would love any feedback or thoughts you have.
Carry this thought today:  In re-evaluating your commitments, ask yourself on a daily basis, in everything you do: ‘Is this in alignment with what I am committed to do’?”

We will talk again soon…
BP  🙂